Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ja! Das ist what I'm talking about! Cristiano Ronaldo, you're fired! Nuno Gomes, you're fired! Colin Kazim Kazim Kazim, you're fired! Fatih Terim, you're fired!
Europameisterschaft 2008 final, you're hired!
I have felt myself good this tournament. My physical structure is nice. All my problem with the ankle is clear now.
Since the day premium class doktor Hans-Wilhelm Müller-Wohlfahrt corrected my ankle on April 27th 2007, I have started a long road to recovery.
I made a big second part of season with Chelsea. I drive them to the UEFA Champions League final in Moscow. The result is scheiße but I did my bit with my penalty shot. I can look at Michael Ballack in the mirror.
After Moscow's disaster I cleared my brains and met up with my Co-national boys. I have a job to do, I am Kapitän of the Germany Fußballnationalmannschaft.
Our coach Jogi Low is pleased with me. He says he likes my body since I come in England. It's true, I am feel in strong conditions.
Kilos and Riccy cheese worryings
I have lost some kilos. Not just because of trainings. But also in the Chelsea FC's food hall after practice matches. Sometimes Ricardo Carvalho chooses food he doesn't understand and can't eat it.
Riccy is frightened of cheese and some days he is putting it on his plate and gets agitated. Once, in April, he gets upset by the very strong fragrant Stilton.
He couldn't digest it and looked all sad at me, his big brünette puppy-face eyes all fragile and moistured. I gave him my left-unders.
I have ask my partner Simone to send DVDs of my preferred English TV programmes. I missed the final of Sir Alan Sugar's The Apprentice and Britains Is Got Talent.
I think Sir Alan Sugar's made a good choice. But I am suprise at Britains Is Got Talent. It is won by a mentally slow boy who falls over in water.
Other teams at Europameisterschaft
France were a big disappoint. Claude Makelele is excellent as my servant in Chelsea's stadium, but in the France he has no reference point, idol, to inspire his work.
Anelka is a calm, quiet boy. But I don't know how you take a player who makes such an ugly penalty in Moscow to a big Eurocup with the France squadron.
And Italy, who stole the World Cup half-final against us two years ago? They are at home or in the beach. When I see Fabio Cannavaro screaming in injury in trainings I am shocked.
It is the first time in a big tournament an Italian player who is riding the stretcher is injured for real! Ha ha das ist a gut one!
I made Riccy crying
Portugal have been dismissed by my Germany team. This was a great day for us but very difficult for Riccy. When I saw his tiny child-like scared glances in the tunnel before the game, I knew something must be done immediately.
I embraced him but gave him strong words.
I explain him that we couldn't be friends for 90 minutes. This is not London. But I told him after full-time whistle point we would be friends again.
I told him that even if we had different colour tunics on, nothing could cancel the adventures and fun we have made in London together.
Whatever the result, we will still go to TK Maxx together. We will still exchange-swap our music cassettes. In fact this reminds me. I have still got his favourite cassette - The Heat Is On, from Beverly Hills Cop 1.
After the game (Deutschland bezwingt Portugal 3-2), I walked over to Riccy and make a cradle for his sad face with my strong hands. His grief was too clear to see. It was a special moment.
It was like the song by pop's George Michael. The song 'Jesus to a Child'. Riccy Carvalho is a sweet child. I am maybe a sports Jesus.
Big Game Match-up
Now all thoughts are on the final. For sure we ride some luck to liquidate the Turkey. I did not play a beautiful game. But others players stepped into the plate. It was a night for others to eat the limelight.
When the final comes I will be back to the besten and, I, Michael Ballack will kick some arschloch. Ja!
Cheryl Tweedy to Ashley Tweedy-Cole: "I insist that you sex it up with every bird you meet in Faces. And I'll only be truly happy if you are sick on their floor and in their car. That makes me as wet as an otter's pocket."
Sir Alex to Ronaldo: "I want you to be carried aloft through the streets of Madrid by gold-plated virgins who tell you over and over again that you are the best player in the world. Oh and that you have a massive cock. And that's an order."
Jose Mourinho to Frank Lampard: "You can come to Inter Milan on one condition - that you shoot (and eat) on sight. Oh wait a minute, that's two conditions..."
Arsene Wenger to Emmanuel Adebayor: "Okay Emmanuel, you can stay, but you must take £120,000 a week for your efforts. Actually, make that £130,000 a week, a stand named in your honour and full access to the former Mrs Henry."
Phil Gartside to Gary Megson: "Buy crap, be crap and play crap football. Now."
Kevin Keegan to Joey Barton: "New code of conduct Joey - hit them before they hit you. And after they hit you. And for quite a bit afterwards until someone pulls you off. Otherwise laddy, you're sacked."
Phil Scolari to John Terry: "New chief brings a new set of rules JT. You must intimidate, alienate, shout a lot with bulging veins and use your hands willy and indeed nilly. And do all this while stood two yards from the goal-line - you don't want to get caught out for pace do you? Oh and p*** in this glass, fella..."
David Moyes to Yakubu: "Just take things easy Yak. Don't wear yourself out, man. Have the afternoon off."
BBC directive to Alan Shearer: "Say nothing. Offer nothing. If we catch you saying anything at all with even the merest hint of insight, we'll be disappointed with that. You've got to do better from there. You've got to fancy the Germans etc etc."
Juande Ramos to Paul Robinson: "First rule of goalkeeping: Make yourself big."
Saturday, May 24, 2008
This is my first blog and I am posting this to get rid of my joblessness..And I think I ve a good topic to talk about..Appearance of Srikanth as a television commentator on Set Max.
Just for information sake,Srikanth happens to be an opener from our 1983 world cup winning side,an extremely dashing and hardhitting batsman.Something like our own Veeru of modern times.What I am going to write about him is not meant to criticise him as a person or a player.It is just about how he acts like a jackass on Live TV which makes people despise him.(For more proof,search "I hate Kris Srikanth" on Google).
I just finished watching Chennai Super Kings v Rajasthan Royals on Set Max.A thoroughly entertaining game,over 420 runs scored in 40 overs.And then one moment of arrogance from Kris,which really made me feel like switching off the TV and never watching the Chennai games from now on.This is what happened, Rajasthan scored 211 runs from their 20 overs and Chennai fought really well and scored 201 runs.They were in the hunt till the 16th over and looked like they could win it.Now enter Sohail Tanvir(God bless his weird wrong footed action),who came and bowled only yorkers at the death and was responsible for a thoroughly deserved victory for the Royals.After the match,the coverage goes to Srikanth for his "expert" opinions.Now, I understand that you can suport a team faithfully and be very passionate about it.But then should you be a commentator on TV??A point to ponder about..
Srikanth dared to say "The result does not say everything.Chennai deserved to win". And I thought to myself,"Yeah,he might be the ambassador of the Super Kings.But he is still a loser."And this has happened repeatedly
in all the games of the IPL.As a consequence,I am beginning to loathe Team Chennai(despite admiring the leadership skills of MS Dhoni).
Well,all I can say is Set Max,next time please do not take ambassadors or people biased to only one tem.It would make a tournament much more entertaining.Learn from Star Sports or Espn or even better,just give them the broadcasting rights!!!